September 2005. Itâ€šÂ´s a while back already that I left into the big unknown! Back then I didnâ€šÂ´t have much perspective on what was happening; I was only following my heart, which just told me that I really, really had to go.
The months before I left many people where continuously projecting their doubts on me; â€šÂ¨How will you ever find a job now that you didnâ€šÂ´t finish your study? Youâ€šÂ´ll never manage with money!â€šÂ¨, â€šÂ¨You are crazy! You will never find a house so nice as this again!â€šÂ¨, â€šÂ¨If you donâ€šÂ´t have a house, where can you go when your tired of travelling? Youâ€šÂ´ll have no place to go!â€šÂ¨, â€šÂ¨How will you deal with this, how will you deal with that?â€šÂ¨, etcetera, etcetera.
I just ignored all this chatter, much like I nowadays am learning to ignore the continuous background chatter of my own mind.
So, am I sorry that I followed my heart? Of course not! For sure there where some difficulties, challenges, depressions, a quarterlife crisis and what not, but that doesnâ€šÂ´t mean I regret anything.
There also was a tremendous amount of inspiration, Iâ€šÂ´ve seen and occasionaly also experienced a lot of different ways of living, and have got a much clearer picture of life then I used to have. One thing I do feel is a tremendous amount of freedom. Freedom of spending my life the way I choose. Freedom of choosing where to live, freedom of choosing how to life, freedom of choosing how to earn my money, freedom of choosing whom to relate to and of course freedom of pursueing what I know that is meaningful for me.
Of course, we all got a lot of freedom in our lives, but itâ€šÂ´s just to easy not to pursue your dreams, not to follow your heart, not to do what you really want to be doing when youâ€šÂ´re entangled in everyday life. One standard conversation I often had goes like this: â€šÂ¨Wow, thatâ€šÂ´s so impressive! Itâ€šÂ´s the best thing in the world! I wish I had travelled more when I was younger, but now I donâ€šÂ´t have the time ( /not enough money / Iâ€šÂ´m afraid of travelling alone / have a relationship / have to take care of my house / donâ€šÂ´t know what to do with my cat /
Many times, I felt that when you meet a person like this five years later, they would still have the same reasons. Why? Are five years not enough to put aside some money for travelling, or to find a suitable travelpartner? The reason is, of course, that people somehow try to justify not living their dreams. They donâ€šÂ´t really want to go for it.
Itâ€šÂ´s not that I think everybody should start travelling, even though itâ€šÂ´s a great way of getting some real life education, but whatever your dream is, if itâ€šÂ´s really your dream, you should either go for it and deal with all the obstacles in due time, or accept that you actually donâ€šÂ´t want to live this dream.
Of course, it often happens that somebody is somehow stuck in a life he or she doesnâ€šÂ´t like. Well, itâ€šÂ´s this personâ€šÂ´s own responsibility in the end. I truly belief weâ€šÂ´re all fully responsible for our own lives. Nobody else is! If you want to be unhappy and blame people, circumstances or life for not giving you what you want, go ahead and be unhappy!
If you do accept full responsibility for your own life though, the whole perspective changes – no more complaining about being mistreated by somebody, or not having enough money for this or that. Instead you get empowered!
Freedom alone is not really that valuable though. Itâ€šÂ´s what you do with it! Personally Iâ€šÂ´m pursueing a life with meaning, something profound, something which goes deeper then just escaping life, being stoned the whole day or being stuck in this studying life or that working-day life. Not that I have anything against any of these, itâ€šÂ´s just not my choice.
And actually it seems Iâ€šÂ´m getting there. Leading a meaningful life that is. And well, if sometimes I donâ€šÂ´t show up online for a long while, just look at the name of the website, and realize that Iâ€šÂ´m using 7 days a week to live my own dreams, following my own heart and my own inspiration, and that this trip at times doesnâ€šÂ´t include electronic life for a couple of weeks.
Peace & love,
Ps. Hereâ€šÂ´s one story about a rabbit as a bonus:
One friend of mine in Budapest has a very comfy appartment not to far from the Danube. Inside this appartment she has a very cute, white, red-eyed rabbit. And for this white rabbit thereâ€šÂ´s a smaller house inside my friendâ€šÂ´s house; some comfortable 0,5 square meters (between iron bars). Thereâ€šÂ´s food, water shelter, nice soft straw and just this comfy feeling one gets when one is at home (I guess). One day in August 2005 when I was staying at my friendâ€šÂ´s place, she opened the door of the cage, took the rabbit out and put her in the middle of the room. For a while the big fluffy creature looked around curiously for two seconds. Then she goes to explore: hop, hop. Suddenly it becomes all to much for the poor rabbit – she freaks out, and makes a frantic rush for the cage. She jumps inside, but still is not at peace. Running this way, running that way and back again. Not until we close the door the rabbit relaxes again. Poor white rabbit!
She couldnâ€šÂ´t handle the freedom. So much more comfortable in this little prison, with all these things which make life so more comfortable then the unknown of the world outside.
Humans are different. We ourself buy iron bars, mortar and bricks and slowly build our own prison around us. So that later we can tell people: â€šÂ¨I so much want to do this or that, but I canâ€šÂ´t do it because thereâ€šÂ´s this prison around me, with brick walls with iron bars between them!â€šÂ¨ Then, when somebody points out that the walls are actually only 1 meter high, and that one can easily climb over it, one says: â€šÂ¨Oh no, youâ€šÂ´ve got it all wrong! The walls is 5 meters high, 2 meters tick, and has deadly spikes on top! Thereâ€šÂ´s no way I can get out! Iâ€šÂ´ll just have to stay here and make the best of it.â€šÂ¨
So, one just shrugs the shoulders, walks on and leaves the person in their own imaginary prison. Who can judge how somebody else should live after all? One can live their own life, and if somebody takes positive inspiration from that – great! If not, well we all do keep choosing our own life, and are the sole persons responsible for it, and the sole persons who can really change it!